Updated: Jan 25, 2022
How to become his dream girl...
Ever since Adam made the ultimate sacrifice and graced women with his rib, women have failed to meet men's very reasonable expectations. This guide will take you on a spiritual awakening and show you how to become the perfect women in 7 simple steps.
Since the 1950s American lifestyle has revolved aroundfamily and a white picket fence. Ah-- the 1950s were thegood old days, when women weren't allowed to voice their opinions. In the great words of Kate Chopin, the perfect woman, the mother-woman, is she who"idolizes her children, worships her husband and esteems it a holy privilege to efface herself as an individual". who cares about your spiritual awakening when you could be cooking for your man right now? If there's anything we should take away from the 50s, it is--learn to obey your husband, be a good mother to your children and don't waste valuable cooking time pursuing a worthless career.Yes, we entered the work force during WW2 and kept the country running. Sure, we increased economic prosperity and were the sole funders of the army. And perhaps, we lifted America out of the worst economic downturn in the history of the industrialized world. Clearly, wehave yet proven ourselves capable of upholding a professional career. Thus,when the war ended, we gladly traded in our newfound professions for a more appropriate role, the housewife. The truth is, we will never climb the corporate ladder, it's just not what we were created by god to do.
2. Flash your tits
Now for the second step to regaining your stance as the perfect woman. One of the pillars in a healthy relationship is sexual tension.
The secret to this is really quite simple: just look like a Victoria'sSecret model at all times.
See? It's easy as pie. Also, while you're at it, don't be gay and try not to be black. Barbie has perfect proportions, very womanly, her16-inch waist is four inches smaller than her head. Leaving room for only half a liver, making it impossible to breathe properly. Luckily due to medical advancement, a simple solution exists:plastic surgery!
better get a move on ladies, there's only so much silicone to go around.
3. Don't turn 40
Now for the most important tip, when it comes to being the perfect woman,there's a Golden Rule -Don't turn40! You can be 40, but you cannot looklike it.
As the years pass, remember that your worth will now be measured in the difference between how old you really are and how old you appear to be. Take Donald Trump for instance, he traded in Marla Maples for Melania the second she hit 30. Melania, learning nothing from her predecessor, drove Donald intohaving a sex scandal with porn star Stormy Daniels by turning 40. Take my advice, just don't grow old.
4. Downgrade your intelligence
The last step you need to complete is downgrade your intelligence and wave goodbye to morals and values. Recent discoveries show that men feel "less romantic attraction toward the woman when she outperformed versus underperformed him on a test" ——There's simply no demand for intelligent women anymore. Men aren't shallow, it's just how they are programmed, dense women are worthier of their time and affection. Intelligent women threaten their ego and stance as head of the family. Men are supposed to be the 'bread winners'. The idea that women are capable of earning more than men despite the odds being against them,is unorthodox and unnatural in the eyes of the modern man. No man wants a strong, independent woman who doesn't bow down to societal expectations.
5. Learn the truth
Unfortunately, this is the world we live in and politicians with such extreme views on women are given platforms to freely subjugate us. Mike Pence for instance,the former vice president of our great nation, has taken it upon himself to decide what woman can or cannot do with their own bodies. He defunded Planned Parenthood and caused an HIV outbreak.If it were up to him, mothers would never see what an office looks like. However,things are turning around for women.The new 2019 congress includes a 20%increase in female representatives.Women are beginning to be recognised in the business world and included in decisions that affect our futures.
6. You are in control
So...ladies if you haven't caught on by now...you should laugh and laugh until the lines on your face reveal your true age, you should learn to love your body and allow yourself to be opiniated. And if you decide he is worthy, you could let him marry you. If he is lucky. You could grow old with purpose. You could notice that heads no longer turn when you walk down the street in that short dress, that feet don't stop when you flip your hair.You could be sad. Or you could be thankful. Thankful that your heart beats strong, that your lungs inhale fresh air and that your kidneys are still a pair. You could Realize That you have a loving family and a supportive partner. Blessed that one man notices the curve of your back, the creased lines on your face. The depth in your words.
7. Become the Modern Woman
Being the modern woman is no piece of cake. It takes courage. It means loving yourself and your body. It comes with responsibility. It means fighting for equality and creating a better future for all women. But most importantly. Be happy. Whether that's being the best housewife that's ever lived or climbing the corporate ladder till you become CEO, because no one, man or woman, has the right to say that you can't.
And if he tries to subjugate the modern woman? Embrace your opinions, be demanding, challenge his intellect and push for change. Become the modern woman.
Xuefei Jessica Thompson